


Drowning in Uncertainty

by FollyOfWinchester



Series: Nothing Good Will Come [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Sex, Bisexuality, Blasphemy, Canon Compliant, Deleted Scenes, Dream Sex, Drowning, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Extremely Dubious Consent, F/F, Frottage, Headcanon, Hentai, M/M, Masturbation, Missing Scene, Porn Watching, Priest Kink, Season/Series 05 Spoilers, Wing Kink, Winged Castiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-23
Updated: 2013-08-23
Packaged: 2017-12-24 08:42:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/937935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FollyOfWinchester/pseuds/FollyOfWinchester
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean finally lets go after waking up from a particularly intense dream. Set at an unspecified time between s05e04 The End and s05e10 Abandon All Hope.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Drowning in Uncertainty

Dean is drowning. Bubbles of air escape his lips as he thrashes under the water. He can see the light shining through the ripples of the surface growing dimmer. He must be sinking. Resigned to his fate, he closes his eyes and waits for death. Suddenly, a firm grip on his shoulder is dragging him against whatever current was keeping him under. He coughs up water as his mouth breaks the surface, but he is soon choking in greedy breaths. After a few more moments, he’s breathing relatively evenly and regaining his senses. How did he survive? He looks up to see that his savior is Cas, staring impassively down at him like one of those naked angels that painters were into back whenever Dungeons and Dragons was real. His huge charcoal wings flap gently, keeping them both hanging majestically just above the water. He looks…fucking incredible.

“Uh, thanks,” is all he can think up to say.

“Think nothing of it. To protect you is my sacred duty.” Cas scoops him up into a cradled embrace and he instinctively wraps his arms around Cas’s shoulders. His skin is so warm and he kind of smells like a mixture of honey and rum. Dean leans his face into the alcove between Cas’s jaw and clavicle and breaths in deeply before cautiously sucking at the skin just below his ear. Cas sighs at the touch. The reaction emboldens Dean and he bites down while reaching out to touch one of Cas’s wings. Cas groans into his ear, “This is not proper behavior between an angel and his charge.”

Dean twists Cas’s chin into a eager kiss, “Don’t care.”

In a blink, the unexpectedly bare skin of his back and legs are against a patch of soft grass and Cas is staring forcefully down at him on all fours. Cas slowly folds his wings around them both so that the tips are millimeters away from Dean’s face. “Touch them again.”

 _Oh, just you try and stop me!_ Dean runs his hand up from the base of one of Cas’s wings and into the downy feathers closest to him. Cas cries out his name and continues to moan as Dean moves his fingers across some of the longer feathers in complete awe at what he’s being allowed to do. Something warm and wet hits Dean’s torso and he looks between them to discover that Cas’s achingly hard cock is dripping with arousal. Without really even thinking, he grabs Cas’s hip with his free hand and pulls him down. Cas growls fiercely and starts rutting against Dean. 

“God, Cas—

—fuck!”

Dean’s eyes shoot open. _Son of a bitch! I woke myself up with my own goddamn screaming!_ He sighs. _And it was just getting good._

Sam murmurs and rolls over in the other twin bed. Dean had thought that maybe the dreams would kind of taper off now that Sam was back and he wasn’t alone with his thoughts every night anymore. _Apparently not._ Dean palms himself under the sheets. Whelp, his dick isn’t going to jerk itself off. 

He snatches Sam’s laptop on the way to the bathroom. No reason to get viruses on his sweet new computer when he can use Sam’s instead. He puts down the toilet seat and sets the laptop on the edge of the tub. After freeing his cock from his underwear, he sits, loads up his favorite lesbian hentai site, and starts to lazily stroke himself. The two girls are both in really skimpy bikinis fondling each other underwater at a pool. The water reminds Dean of the dream he was just having and he thinks about the way Cas had looked, golden skin, huge dark wings, just so fucking irresistible. What does he really look like under his humdrum clothes? Could he make his wings visible like that? _That would be so fucking sexy!_

He realizes that he isn’t even paying attention to the video on the laptop anymore, despite the fact that the two girls were now out of their bikinis and rambunctiously fondling each other in a pool chair. He sighs and rubs his eyes between his thumb and index finger. These Cas dreams were really messing him up...although he was finding less and less that he could give a shit. If he was honest, it was actually starting to frustrate him more that none of the dreams would ever actually happen than that they were happening in the first place.

Maybe he should just quit lying to himself about the whole thing. No one would even find out as long as he remembered to clear Sam’s history. _So what if I weirdly find Cas incredibly sexy now that he has my necklace? So what if I watch Dr. Sexy primarily for Dr. Sexy and not any of the chicks on the show? So what if I like seeing dicks in porn almost as much as lady parts? So fucking what?_

He’d always avoided this kind of thought process or laughed it off even in his own head. Everyone saw him as way too macho and straight to be into dudes and he put a lot of effort into keeping it that way. This thing with the Cas dreams did kind of scare the shit out of him, but why fight so hard against it, especially since it was all just fantasies in his own mind. Maybe he owes it to himself to accept being...whatever he is...bi-something, maybe...and just run with it, just enjoy it, especially after that crazy hallucination in the front seat of his baby. _Man, if only that had been real...Cas there touching himself and grabbing my thigh while I tried to focus on the road, and after he’d finished maybe he would lean over and go down on me while I was still driving. Oh, hell yes!_ He picks up the pace of his strokes on his own cock and has to bite his hand to keep from moaning too loudly. 

_That’s it. I’m doing this._ He wants to watch some gay porn and for once in his life he's just going to let himself. Plus, maybe the Cas dreams keep ending before anything more than blow jobs because his brain needed some study material to draw from. _No one else has to know. It’s just a harmless fantasy._

But what should he even look up? He starts typing a few things and ends up deleting them each time. What does he want to see right now? He finally just types in “religious gay porn” and hits enter before he can change his mind. Embarrassment wells up in him and he shuts the laptop with a snap and puts his face in his hands. _What the fuck am I doing?!_ The initial wave of shame passes and he lifts his eyes to the laptop again. He slowly opens it back up and peeks at the search results. He skims through a few until he notices one that promises “preachers and their sinful parishioners” and shrugs. _Sounds pretty appropriate._ His hand wavers above the touch pad. _Am I really going to do this?_ He sets his jaw and clicks on the link. _Yes, yes I fucking am._

The website opens to a menu of videos and his embarrassment levels creep back up. He can feel his cheeks burning as he scans the descriptions. _It’s like I’m looking at porno mags for the first time all over again._ He checks the lock on the bathroom door again just to make sure Sam won’t be barging in unannounced. Reassured about his privacy, his eyes dart back to the computer screen and one of the videos stands out. The two guys in the preview really remind him of Cas and himself. A dark haired priest is backed against a wall with a lighter haired dude in a really absurd devil costume, pretty much just a banana hammock and a pair of horns, leaning over him. _“Father Richard isn’t going to be celibate much longer with a devilishly good looking incubus breathing down his neck.” Okay, I’ll bite._ He clicks play and watches as the scene unfolds. 

The video starts with the priest holding a cross up to the incubus and pleading with him not to come any closer. The incubus gracefully strolls along a few feet away from the priest trying to convince him that this is what they both want. Dean mentally superimposes his own face over the incubus and imagines saying the same kinds of things to Cas. The priest seems to be falling under some sort of spell for a second but snaps out of it and throws the cross in the incubus’s direction and finds himself backed into a corner. His face is almost exactly the same as Cas’s when Dean had pinned him against the wall in that one dream. The fantasy starts to spin in his mind as the video continues. The incubus advances to lean over the trapped priest. He runs a hand down the front of his tight black shirt and hooks a hand in the waist of his pants. “I don’t even need to use my powers, do I? You’re already hard.” The incubus drags a finger along the fabric outline of the priest’s cock. The priest sighs and his eyes flutter shut, but then he shakes his head furiously, “I, I can’t!” The incubus smirks, “We’ll see about that.” 

Dean imagines the same scene between him and Cas, unbuckling Cas’s belt, slowly pushing his pants down his hips, spinning him to face the wall, and running his hands along the exposed flesh of his hips and ass. He starts stroking his cock again and sighing into his own touch. The incubus runs his fingers along the underside of the priest’s shaft and the priest moans and spreads his legs wider. The incubus forces his fingers into the priest’s mouth and draws them back out slowly before pushing his middle finger against the priest’s waiting entrance. The priest cries out and Dean imagines the way Cas’s voice would sound after something like that. _Yeah, that’s it._ He picks up the tempo and bites his hand again so that Cas’s name doesn’t escape his lips. The incubus keeps adding fingers until he has three inside and the priest is begging for more against the wall. The incubus slips his cock deftly out of his little red underwear and produces a bottle of lube seemingly out of nowhere in the usual porn fashion. He liberally coats his cock and removes his fingers just in time to replace them with a quick thrust. Dean groans and stands, bracing his hand above him as he imagines Cas in front of him against the bathroom wall. He wants to hear Cas scream like the priest in the video. He wants to hear him needy and wanton. He wants him...outside of his dreams.

The men in the video were deep in the throes of over the top pleasure you can only see in porn, but Dean is barely watching anymore. He imagines Cas pressing back against him and crying out his name and he is finally there. He growls out a curse as he cums. “Fuck yes!” He stands panting for a moment still leaning against the wall, but his recovery is cut short by raucous knocking on the door.

“Dean, what the hell are you yelling about in there? I’m trying to sleep for fuck’s sake!”

 _Shit!_ “Just, uh, give me a second!” He frantically closes the video and clears Sam’s history before slapping the laptop shut and yanking his briefs back on without even cleaning himself up. He fumbles with the lock and opens the door a crack to find Sam’s frustrated face staring back at him, “What?”

“Dude, can you not— WAIT, IS THAT MY LAPTOP?! DEAN, COME ON!” Dean braces against the door, but Sam’s furious arm snakes through the crack and flails toward his laptop sitting on the side of the bathtub. “GIVE IT BACK!”

“Fine! Here!” Dean shoves the laptop into Sam’s hand and watches as it whips back out the door. As soon as the last corner of the laptop clears the threshold, he slams the door and turns around against it before covering his face with his hands and sliding slowly to the ground. _Shit, shit, shit!_

He hears Sam shout through the door, “How about you use your own laptop next time!? Better yet, don’t do crap like that while I’m trying to sleep! Jerk!!”

He stays sitting on the bathroom floor with his face in his hands for a while after Sam has stopped grumbling and shuffling around out in the main room. _I just watched gay porn. And masturbated to it while imagining I was fucking Cas. And I enjoyed the hell out of it...and...it will never actually happen._ He lets his head loll back and stares up at the ceiling as he thinks. He's realizing more and more that he can't just blame this all on the necklace. Maybe it was the catalyst, but now, well... _That's it. I'm really, actually into Cas. Fuck._ He thumps his head softly against the door. “What the hell am I gonna do?”

~*~

**Author's Note:**

> I know lots of people think Dean is super straight, but to me he definitely seems more bicurious, maybe even bisexual. Anyway, I really enjoyed writing this and it might be my favorite of the whole series so far!


End file.
